When I first got into this biz called show, I decided I was going to change my name, make it more Hollywood. And you know how you do that? You take your middle name and the first street that you ever lived on. So when I first started, I actually went by Sue Rural Route 2.
Pop Culture & Celebrity
You will never experience less reality than when you are watching a reality show. You’re watching people who aren’t actors, put into situations created by people who aren’t writers and they’re second guessing how they think you would like to see them behave if this were a real situation, which it’s not. And you are passively observing this; watching an amateur production of nothing. It’s like a photo of a drawing of a hologram.
If The Beatles represent the most successful version you can be of a thing, then by that definition The Rolling Stones are The Beatles of music, not counting The Beatles. John Lennon is The Beatles of The Beatles.
I’d like a game show with millionaires on it, and they have to play with their own money, and they can’t win money, they can only lose ’til one them goes complete broke, and the show’s called ‘Ha Ha, Now You’re Poor.’
You see all these mafia movies; Italians are always portrayed as angry, violent people. That’s not right. As far as we Italians are concerned — hey, listen, we don’t hurt people, but people get hurt, you know? Accidents happen! You walk outside, trip and fall on an ice pick, six or seven times, you know? Right away, they blame Vinny. That’s not right.
I played in a death metal band. People either loved us or they hated us — or they thought we were OK.
What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
Call me Dirk Benedict because my Face belongs on your “A-Team.”
Can I put my tape in your Betamax?
Who ya gonna call? How about me?
Wanna play my Casio? I keep it in my pants.
Wanna come back to my place and check out my Commodore 64?
Wanna take a ride in my DeLorean?
My digital watch has a calculator. How do you like me now?
Call me Gary Coleman because I know all about diff’rent strokes.
You’re the activator in my Jheri curl.
I’ve got the Jones for you to enter my Temple of Doom.
You can call me K.I.T. because I’ll be your Night Rider.
Like Kirk Cameron, I am experiencing growing pains — in my pants.
I pity the fool who doesn’t come home with me tonight!